Maferefun!
There is this quiet place that had a nice stream of water running through it with geese & ducks up in the Bronx, a friend of mine once took me to talk privately with Ochun...introduce everything about myself & speaking to Ochun from my heart about everything in my life. Very early this morning I woke up having that feeling of sadness in my heart so I conversed out loud to God, in doing so I had a strong sense of spending the later part of my morning at that quiet place by the water and have a deep conversation with God, Jesus and Ochun, it had been some time that has passed since I was last there but I didn't like how my heart was feeling and those feelings needed to be dealt with openly and released.
As my conversation began so much had come out I was open & honest in conversing...I began crying not realizing I had no control over my feelings. More & more & MORE tears were released....just sobbing out in the cold winter. These tears of sadness & deep hurt became tears of cleansing and cleansing it was. I didn't even realized I was sitting on the ice cold snow that was still left from the mini snow storm prior, that people passing through as a short cut to get to where they were going could hear me crying & talking and how the ducks in the water were so close quietly quaking low amongst each other as if they understood my conversation I was having aloud.
So much, so much in my life and yet still the pain...still more to let go...then healing, while sitting out there I guess one of the passer-bys had walked back through and in walking back this man noticed my journal had fallen out of my pocket and handed it to me, in doing so he said "They all hear you and you are loved you must believe that you are loved and God never left you nor stopped loving you & never will...its good to not just pray from a book but from my heart just keep your trust in them."
Now he did apologize for walking up to & scaring me. I guessed he was caught off-guard as well by my reaction. Let me tell ya I have to be honest I was caught off guard--even scared because this man just walked up to me out of the blue and I quickly put my "Nuyorican-from-the-Block" attitude into 1st gear all ready & prepared in defense mode but all I could do is step back (FAR away) from him still listening to what he was saying. He then continued "it was good of you to sit with her" then wished me a Happy Valentine's Day & continue towards his destination.
Uuuuh Yeaaaa *raised eyebrow* I KNOW!!!...my thoughts exactly "ok its time to go now" so as I leave my journal had slipped out of my hands and fell in the snow it was open on the very first page which that I happened to glance at and read:
You are a Beautiful Woman of God, precious to Him in every way. As you Seek Him, He will show you the mysteries of life and unfold His unique plans for you-a life full of rich blessing.
God cares about you and knows all the desires of your heart. He is as close as breathing. Let this journal inspire you to express your thoughts, record your prayers, embrace your dreams, and listen to what God is saying to you.
Be strong in the Lord and may His peace guide your heart always. Even though this was written for a journal, in this paragraph. They DID hear and found ways to respond to me....so with that being said I headed back towards the train station. As promised earlier when I sat near the stream I will be back next Sunday.
Thank you for stopping to read my openness of how I felt today,it is very hard since I am so private, maybe someone else needed to know too that they are not alone.
Happy Valentine's Day to you all.
Walking in Faith, Praise & Blessings!
As my conversation began so much had come out I was open & honest in conversing...I began crying not realizing I had no control over my feelings. More & more & MORE tears were released....just sobbing out in the cold winter. These tears of sadness & deep hurt became tears of cleansing and cleansing it was. I didn't even realized I was sitting on the ice cold snow that was still left from the mini snow storm prior, that people passing through as a short cut to get to where they were going could hear me crying & talking and how the ducks in the water were so close quietly quaking low amongst each other as if they understood my conversation I was having aloud.
So much, so much in my life and yet still the pain...still more to let go...then healing, while sitting out there I guess one of the passer-bys had walked back through and in walking back this man noticed my journal had fallen out of my pocket and handed it to me, in doing so he said "They all hear you and you are loved you must believe that you are loved and God never left you nor stopped loving you & never will...its good to not just pray from a book but from my heart just keep your trust in them."
Now he did apologize for walking up to & scaring me. I guessed he was caught off-guard as well by my reaction. Let me tell ya I have to be honest I was caught off guard--even scared because this man just walked up to me out of the blue and I quickly put my "Nuyorican-from-the-Block" attitude into 1st gear all ready & prepared in defense mode but all I could do is step back (FAR away) from him still listening to what he was saying. He then continued "it was good of you to sit with her" then wished me a Happy Valentine's Day & continue towards his destination.
Uuuuh Yeaaaa *raised eyebrow* I KNOW!!!...my thoughts exactly "ok its time to go now" so as I leave my journal had slipped out of my hands and fell in the snow it was open on the very first page which that I happened to glance at and read:
You are a Beautiful Woman of God, precious to Him in every way. As you Seek Him, He will show you the mysteries of life and unfold His unique plans for you-a life full of rich blessing.
God cares about you and knows all the desires of your heart. He is as close as breathing. Let this journal inspire you to express your thoughts, record your prayers, embrace your dreams, and listen to what God is saying to you.
Be strong in the Lord and may His peace guide your heart always. Even though this was written for a journal, in this paragraph. They DID hear and found ways to respond to me....so with that being said I headed back towards the train station. As promised earlier when I sat near the stream I will be back next Sunday.
Thank you for stopping to read my openness of how I felt today,it is very hard since I am so private, maybe someone else needed to know too that they are not alone.
Happy Valentine's Day to you all.
Walking in Faith, Praise & Blessings!
